I’ve fallen into the cycle again– somehow despite my (34!) New Year’s Resolutions to have more fun, do more yoga, be nicer to myself, and all those other things, I’ve ended up embracing my old habits only two weeks into the year. I think there are two extremes when it comes to resolution making: those of us who swear to do more and fall short, and those of us who swear to do less and fall into the pit of overachievement again.

New Year’s is a dangerous time for those of us who measure our self worth by external means (who we are to others and what we accomplish that’s tangible). In satisfied with being, we seek to define our value by doing as much as we can–and ignoring the signs that more is not in fact more.

It did not take many days of sleeping less and attempting to juggle five jobs for me to reach hysterical levels of exhaustion. I wish I could tell you I stopped what I was doing and played with my dog, or took a bubble bath, or read my favorite book. I did none of those things. I cried, and yelled, and I went to work anyway.

My biggest struggle this year will not be creating new habits or crossing goals off of my list. It will be treating myself as a priority and making sanity-boosting activities a non-negotiable. From here on out, that’s what I’d like to track and reward myself for: the things that I do for myself that no one else would do, that won’t be recognized, and that have no tangible bottom line benefit.

Are you too nice or too hard on yourself? What’s your intangible bottom line benefit this year?

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